Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
