I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
