help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
