This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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