what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
