I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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