Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
