I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
