That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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