Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
