3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
