HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
