Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
