North Korea, Best Korea!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
