Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
this boner is exhausting
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
