If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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