i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
