You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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