Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
