Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
