i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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