I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
