oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
