She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
sarcasm needs its own font
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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