Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
