i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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