he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
