I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
