The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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