I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
