Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
