I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
