cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
