Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
