Nicole vs. Life
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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