And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
