We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Alive.
So much puke
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
