Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
