I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you never un-have a 4some
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
