you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
