K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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