In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
