i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
