The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
