dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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