I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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