i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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