i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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