Ambien. No doubt about it.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
