Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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