I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize