His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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