Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
that is very illegal...i love you.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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