just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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