We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
