So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
