I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
