yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
