Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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