the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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