you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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