Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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