toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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