considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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