soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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