Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
