im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
